It’s hard to believe it was 10 years ago today. I remember it so well. Looking back it’s wild that 10 years went by so fast. We made it through but we didn’t know back then what the world would be like after this descent into the underworld.
Because that was clearly where we were headed.
That day in 2025 was notable for a few reasons for me. I remember thinking about my mother that day. It would have been her 90th birthday had she lived beyond age 58. Her older sister had just turned 95 in Florida.
I remember being concerned that day about the birds in my backyard. Some large flocks of pine siskins flew in the previous week and a couple of them looked lethargic. I went that day to the backyard bird shop and the woman who worked in the store confirmed there was a virus circulating with the larger flocks that came in the last month. She said it was advised to take the bird feeder down, let the birds disperse and give the feeder a good cleaning and bleach it with a diluted bleach solution. Also to turn over the dirt under the feeder.
I remember being in touch with my happy hour friends on the Bluesky app we had all flocked to since twitter was now a ruined experience after a certain person destroyed it. I said the day before I wasn’t sure if I’d be watching the inauguration but I was glad Rachel said she’d resume her show 5 days a week for the first 100 days. No one else was planning to watch.
I remember thinking about Leslie in South Africa that day. I imagined she and I sitting up at Council Crest gazing in wonder at our local volcanoes.
She would have suggested we do a square, her exercise where you dig deep into polarized states, to process the desires and fears of living in a fascist state versus the desires and fears of living in a democracy
Under the column desire to live in a fascist state might go things like:
To have a strong man take care of all that’s wrong
After all, he said he’s going to fix everything that’s wrong in America
To go back to when things seemed simpler and there weren’t confusing issues like gender or diversity to deal with.
Under fear of living in a fascist state might go things like:
One person might get to decide things usually decided by the Courts, or the Constitution, like who has to be imprisoned for crimes and who doesn’t
One person might get us into a war. After all, he said we’re going to take back the Panama Canal. He has his sights set on Greenland. The world might start to get upset with us … the world might wonder where America went…
Under desire of living in a democracy might go things like
We’re all human beings trying to get along and live peacefully with each other with respect, grace and liberty for all. We’ve made good progress in achieving some good things and still have further to go. We’d like to continue making progress to better the country for all people and be good conscientious world citizens making the planet a better place.
Under fear of living in a democracy might go:
It’s too hard trying to do the work of living in a liberal democracy with such a polarized citizenry.
It’s like we live in two different universes. In one universe is a reality tv star craving attention, spouting fantasies daily, swallowed whole by adoring fans. In the other universe is the real 3D world of facts. Not made up stuff. Unfortunately it seems we have to live now at least for 4 more years with the alternative facts driving the fate of the country.
And then after fleshing out all of it, offer up all of the desires and fears around these polarized states of fascism and democracy by making a prayer… that might go something like this:
Dear Spirit, Mother/Father God,
All of our Ancestors, Guides, Benevolent Beings who support us in the invisible realms.
We hereby offer up all of our desires and fears around living in a fascist state versus living in a democracy. We ask for clearing that we may come into a greater state of understanding and equanimity, recognizing that the time we are living in might be calling us towards a deeper level of clearing of shadow on a collective state and there may be things we are being called towards because of the experience that we are having to undergo in this underworld journey we are no doubt embarking upon on this day.
We offer up all of the fears and desires and give thanks for the support knowing that we are being supported and that we have to trust in the support of the invisible realms, particularly at this time.
Blessed be.
We made it through those years. In some ways it helped to unify us in ways we couldn’t have imagined starting out. It made us stronger, more resilient.
It's good to be reminded there will be- hopefully, that is- an after.
"We made it through those years." May it be so. Of course, the wrenching question is--Who is we? Who makes it through those years. Including lichens and deep sea shrimps and clouds, polar bears and our beloved children....Thank you for creating a raft of prayer here.